Sunday, 15 August 2010

Let's Play: Fallout 3 (Part 2)

The last time we left our murdering hero, he was pondering what to do now that the vault is a not too distant memory. Selling some loot sounds like the best option for now.

So I'm standing here with 12 different vault jumpsuits and a load of assorted junk. (Where is Zak holding this stuff anyway?) It'd probably be better to turn this into currency since I've not even had breakfast yet. While looking for a way to open the overseer's office, there was an entry on Megaton. That seems as best a place as any to start, so let's go!

Um...Where's Megaton? My Pip-Boy just says to go there. Does it not realise that this is my first time outside? Well...I guess I'll start walking...this way? Maybe? Screw it, following the road seems like a good idea. I stumble upon a vending machine with 2 bottles of Nuka Cola. I down both bottles before realising they've probably been there for over 200 years, which makes me feel a little queasy.
Further down the road is a school. Hopefully they'll have some sort of map or someone to ask directions.

What a friendly looking place.
“Hello!” My cries echo off the walls. Damn, no-one home. Throughout the corridors are badly mutilated corpses and skeletons in cages. Blood smears the walls and the building is falling apart. Good to see the schools didn't change in the nuclear blasts then.
Inside a classroom is a girl, not much older than me. “Hi, I'm lost. Can you help?”
“Haha, fresh meat boys!”
I wasn't aware there were any 'boys' before I turned around to run and saw a guy with a pipe in his hand. He didn't look like a plumber, so I'm pretty sure he wanted to introduce the pipe to my face. That would have been a conflict of interests, so my first kill in the wasteland followed not soon after. Then my second.

Pictured: Justice.
Well my plan to empty some space is failing, since now their stuff is weighing me down now. I'd better go find that Megaton place.
I high tail it out the doors, shouting out “I'll be back to SCHOOL you all another time!” Note to self: Kill everyone next time so there'll be no-one left to remember that awful pun.
After more searching, I finally reach Megaton, and JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THAT?!

It's like Satan impregnated my nightmares.
If that's what I've got to fight, I'm going back to the vault. Amata never said anything about fighting demonic insects when she said I have to escape. Actually, she didn't say much besides don't kill anybody, so I guess this is karma. Anyway, I make my way inside what looks like a giant metal boob and suddenly wish I was back at the school. The school didn't look like a crater in the ground, and that building actually had a roof.

Wasteland paradise, apparently.
According to the sheriff there's a shop here, so for now I guess I won't shoot up the place. Plus I heard talk of a bar, and they didn't have alcohol in the vault. I really hope they don't ID.

After stepping into Craterside Supply I regretted my decision. The shopkeeper's voice was so annoying I think I may have to wear ear plugs next time. She's just lucky to have a guard or all her stuff would need a new owner.

The voice of an angel, if the angel had been smacked in the knackers.
After loading all of my stuff onto her, I go outside to see what people do for entertainment here, since I hadn't really thought this far on. Amata told me to find my dad, but he left strict instructions not to follow him, so I'll leave that deadbeat alone to abandon his only son. Looking around I see a café, a bar, a few houses and IS THAT A BOMB?! That's seriously a bomb. A working one? After hunting down the sheriff again I ask if he's insane.

Apparently these people have a church centred around this thing. I've heard crazier religions, but there's still something off putting about the whole thing. Somehow I end up telling the guy I'll disarm the bomb and after a slip of the tongue, I think we somehow came upon the conclusion that I was doing it out of the goodness of my own heart. He ran away before I could correct him. Clever guy. So, down to the crater I go. “Don't mind me, pretend I'm not here!” I say to the crazies praying to this thing. The preacher doesn't bat an eyelid, but I do hear some murmuring from the rest of his people. Apparently they think I'm weird. Figures.
After standing in the irradiated water for Lord knows how long, I realise I don't know anything about bomb disposal. This doesn't really bother me, since I'm not getting paid for this ordeal anyway, so I go to the bar to get wrecked and to see what 200 year old scotch tastes like.

My third shock of the day came when I walked inside and saw a corpse working behind the bar. I wasn't aware that this was the zombie apocalypse. I must have been staring since Stubbs calls me out and asks if I want something. I manage to murmur something about a drink before he tells me what he is and who he is. I should have been paying attention but I spent the majority of the conversation wondering how his vocal chords still worked while the rest of him was just decayed flesh.

Does he charge in brains instead of caps?
A few drinks later and the beer goggles began to settle in. He wasn't so bad. I mean anyone who gets me drunk is alright in my book. And how did what's left of his skin stay there? Does it peel off? In chunks or in slithers? Before I had time to explore these disturbing thoughts further, a guy calls me over and asks if I want to do a job for him. There was talk of a bomb and talk of Megaton and talk of destruction. It may have been the booze talking, but it seemed a marvellous idea! It's get those images of Gob out of my head for one, and hopefully destroy squeaky-woman once and for all. First Megaton, then the world! Although this is some pretty good Vodka, and it'd be a shame to waste it all. This place isn't so bad really. I mean, the female to male ratio is pretty decent, and I'm told there's an empty house I could probably buy. This decision will need a few more drinks before I can make my choice.

I awoke the next morning with pants around my head, 120 caps lighter and a strange woman next to me. “Morning, Tiny”

I don't know if it was the anger or the fear of gossip which drove me to affix the detonation device onto the bomb, but there was certainly no doubt in my mind. Megaton would burn. I wanted to hang a banner saying 'Blame Nova' but I couldn't find any ink. 

Oh well, time to go meet Burke and make my mark on this wasteland. Or at least take one off.


  1. Lol, "If Satan impregnated my nightmares"! That made my day. Funny stuff, looking forward to the next installment!

    I wonder how you had sex with Nova, cos all she does when paid is go to bed and fall asleep. If I wanted that I'd just get in the sack with my wife!

  2. Well I had to use my imagination. You know...just like in real life.


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