Sunday, 29 August 2010

Let's Play: Fallout 3 (Part 3)

UPDATE:  So it turns out the service I was using to upload these pictures suddenly realised it didn't want to do its intended job.  Now I have to check my PC to find the pictures, re-upload them and change the links.  Which is hard since I'm at a friend's at the opposite end of the country.  With any luck I'll find them and get this looking pretty sometime soon.  Until then, feel free to fill in the blanks with whatever images you see fit.

Last time, I decided that Megaton had overstayed its welcome. Thankfully, a guy I'd known for the whole of 5 seconds had given me a device which would detonate the bomb in the centre of town so...you know...yay. How he decides that a guy who hasn't even seen night-time yet gets to destroy a town is beyond me but I'm not going to question the guy giving me caps. Anyway, the journey across the wasteland begins.

I'm pretty sure I won't.
...Right after I buy everything in sight. Doing a one eighty, I head back in to Megaton and go straight for the shop. Soon this will be a pile of rubble, and rubble doesn't go for much of a profit so I've heard. Walking through the gates I hear more murmuring about me from the citizens. I'm not sure if they've heard the rumours, saw me affix the bomb, or are wondering why I came back after running away cackling not one minute ago. I don't make eye contact with anyone and head up the ramps to get some supplies. Lucas Simms eyes me up as I walk out and give the town a glance for what I hope to be my last time.
“Have a nice day, sheriff.”
I hope he doesn't pick up on my laughing. He stops. Shit. You know what I don't do enough of? Running away.

Thankfully I make it outside without someone opening fire, so I'm considering this a victory. It occurs to me that Burke never told me where Tenpenny tower actually was, so here I am outside of Megaton with no idea where to go. Again. Standing here won't help any, so I start walking in a random direction, because that worked so well for me last time.


After a while walking, I realised I've not eaten since last night. Lets see, I have...nothing. Crap. What's this? A house? Well it's the only one standing for a good mile, so I'm calling dibs! I walk inside and spot a kitchen! An honest to God kitchen! It has an oven and everything! Just before I can revel in my amazing good luck, I spot someone else sat at the table.

Looks like somebody doesn't know how dibs works.

“Who are you?”
“No-one you need pay attention to. Just show me where I can sleep and I'll be on my way.”
“You...you're serious? I don't even know you. There's no way I'm letting a stranger stay here, you could kill me in my sleep”
“I can do you one better than that!”
Murdered for a kitchen.  I do not have issues.


And that's the story of how I gained a small, worthless house.

Zak Stoneball: Homeowner

So after a good night's sleep, some actual food, and some time listening to the God-awful radio, I thought it best to go and find Tenpenny Towers. Damn, I can't remember what direction Burke said the place was now. North? I think it was North. Let's head North!

A few hours later I see a bridge. Rather than wading through irradiated water again, I think it best to walk across. When I get to the top, I wish I'd have taken the water. Apparently there's a town built on the top of this crumbling bridge, which makes me think Megaton had the better idea. At the entrance to this town there's a guy aiming a rifle at me and a mine which goes off, further strengthening my idea that radiation would have been safer.

“Hang on, you're not one of them. I nearly blasted you in two.”

Gee, good to see the town guard is observant. His blindness actually makes a whole lot of sense, seen as he probably thought this bridge was a great place to live.
He wants a word with me, and it seems that townspeople have been disappearing and they want my help.
“Help costs caps”
“Do I look like I just stepped out of Tenpenny Tower?”
No, but if you know where it is that's be much appreciated.

First mission: Go check on the townspeople. Not exactly the daring quest I'd imagined, but it'll do for now. I'm new at this and need experience.
The first house tells me this isn't going to be easy. Upon walking inside the guy tells me to get out and leave him and his wife alone. Ok, so maybe you don't want to be saved. Fine, stay here to die.

"Your husband's a douche.  It's his fault you're going to be dead soon."

Everyone's fine in the next house. I wonder if the last place has any food. Or caps. I'm not getting paid for this, so there had better be some generous people here. All I've seen so far are crazy ladies and douche husbands.
I walk inside and see...corpses. Lots and lots of corpses. With blood. Everywhere. Man I hope I don't get blamed for this. “It was like that when I got here” seems too clichĂ©. Ah well, better steal their stuff (The stuff without bloodstains) and go tell the guard that he's doing a crap job. Oh hey, those beds look comfy.

If this doesn't look like a good place to rest, I don't know what does.


Seven hours later I talk to the guard and tell him the family's dead.

“So where have you been for the past seven hours?”
“I got tired.”
“Oh, you slept at the West's place?”
“Yeah. Oh, that reminds me, they're all dead. It wasn't me. Actually, it was like that when I got there.”
“What?! So...you went around to everyone's house, found a murdered family, FELL ASLEEP, and came back seven hours after I put you on an urgent mission to check on three houses?”
“That about sums it up yeah. Are you sure you're not going to pay me for this? I did a good job I think.”
“Jesus, I don't know where to...I mean...you slept next to their...how did they die?”
“Wolves? I don't know, I barely looked. They were all icky”

Needless to say, I don't think my excuses went down well, and he sent me off to find a missing member of the family. By that I mean he told me the names of three places and pointed. I don't think people in this place realise I've not been outside before, never mind scouted everywhere to find every little place people mention.

I see finding Tenpenny Towers has been put off for a while until I find this guy. I really hope somebody else doesn't come and blow up Megaton while I'm gone. I wonder how long Burke can wait.

Next time: CSI: Wasteland.

Sunday, 15 August 2010

Let's Play: Fallout 3 (Part 2)

The last time we left our murdering hero, he was pondering what to do now that the vault is a not too distant memory. Selling some loot sounds like the best option for now.

So I'm standing here with 12 different vault jumpsuits and a load of assorted junk. (Where is Zak holding this stuff anyway?) It'd probably be better to turn this into currency since I've not even had breakfast yet. While looking for a way to open the overseer's office, there was an entry on Megaton. That seems as best a place as any to start, so let's go!


Um...Where's Megaton? My Pip-Boy just says to go there. Does it not realise that this is my first time outside? Well...I guess I'll start walking...this way? Maybe? Screw it, following the road seems like a good idea. I stumble upon a vending machine with 2 bottles of Nuka Cola. I down both bottles before realising they've probably been there for over 200 years, which makes me feel a little queasy.
Further down the road is a school. Hopefully they'll have some sort of map or someone to ask directions.

What a friendly looking place.
“Hello!” My cries echo off the walls. Damn, no-one home. Throughout the corridors are badly mutilated corpses and skeletons in cages. Blood smears the walls and the building is falling apart. Good to see the schools didn't change in the nuclear blasts then.
Inside a classroom is a girl, not much older than me. “Hi, I'm lost. Can you help?”
“Haha, fresh meat boys!”
I wasn't aware there were any 'boys' before I turned around to run and saw a guy with a pipe in his hand. He didn't look like a plumber, so I'm pretty sure he wanted to introduce the pipe to my face. That would have been a conflict of interests, so my first kill in the wasteland followed not soon after. Then my second.

Pictured: Justice.
Well my plan to empty some space is failing, since now their stuff is weighing me down now. I'd better go find that Megaton place.
I high tail it out the doors, shouting out “I'll be back to SCHOOL you all another time!” Note to self: Kill everyone next time so there'll be no-one left to remember that awful pun.
After more searching, I finally reach Megaton, and JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THAT?!

It's like Satan impregnated my nightmares.
If that's what I've got to fight, I'm going back to the vault. Amata never said anything about fighting demonic insects when she said I have to escape. Actually, she didn't say much besides don't kill anybody, so I guess this is karma. Anyway, I make my way inside what looks like a giant metal boob and suddenly wish I was back at the school. The school didn't look like a crater in the ground, and that building actually had a roof.

Wasteland paradise, apparently.
According to the sheriff there's a shop here, so for now I guess I won't shoot up the place. Plus I heard talk of a bar, and they didn't have alcohol in the vault. I really hope they don't ID.

After stepping into Craterside Supply I regretted my decision. The shopkeeper's voice was so annoying I think I may have to wear ear plugs next time. She's just lucky to have a guard or all her stuff would need a new owner.

The voice of an angel, if the angel had been smacked in the knackers.
After loading all of my stuff onto her, I go outside to see what people do for entertainment here, since I hadn't really thought this far on. Amata told me to find my dad, but he left strict instructions not to follow him, so I'll leave that deadbeat alone to abandon his only son. Looking around I see a café, a bar, a few houses and IS THAT A BOMB?! That's seriously a bomb. A working one? After hunting down the sheriff again I ask if he's insane.

See?
Apparently these people have a church centred around this thing. I've heard crazier religions, but there's still something off putting about the whole thing. Somehow I end up telling the guy I'll disarm the bomb and after a slip of the tongue, I think we somehow came upon the conclusion that I was doing it out of the goodness of my own heart. He ran away before I could correct him. Clever guy. So, down to the crater I go. “Don't mind me, pretend I'm not here!” I say to the crazies praying to this thing. The preacher doesn't bat an eyelid, but I do hear some murmuring from the rest of his people. Apparently they think I'm weird. Figures.
After standing in the irradiated water for Lord knows how long, I realise I don't know anything about bomb disposal. This doesn't really bother me, since I'm not getting paid for this ordeal anyway, so I go to the bar to get wrecked and to see what 200 year old scotch tastes like.

My third shock of the day came when I walked inside and saw a corpse working behind the bar. I wasn't aware that this was the zombie apocalypse. I must have been staring since Stubbs calls me out and asks if I want something. I manage to murmur something about a drink before he tells me what he is and who he is. I should have been paying attention but I spent the majority of the conversation wondering how his vocal chords still worked while the rest of him was just decayed flesh.

Does he charge in brains instead of caps?
A few drinks later and the beer goggles began to settle in. He wasn't so bad. I mean anyone who gets me drunk is alright in my book. And how did what's left of his skin stay there? Does it peel off? In chunks or in slithers? Before I had time to explore these disturbing thoughts further, a guy calls me over and asks if I want to do a job for him. There was talk of a bomb and talk of Megaton and talk of destruction. It may have been the booze talking, but it seemed a marvellous idea! It's get those images of Gob out of my head for one, and hopefully destroy squeaky-woman once and for all. First Megaton, then the world! Although this is some pretty good Vodka, and it'd be a shame to waste it all. This place isn't so bad really. I mean, the female to male ratio is pretty decent, and I'm told there's an empty house I could probably buy. This decision will need a few more drinks before I can make my choice.

I awoke the next morning with pants around my head, 120 caps lighter and a strange woman next to me. “Morning, Tiny”

SHE KNOWS TOO MUCH.
I don't know if it was the anger or the fear of gossip which drove me to affix the detonation device onto the bomb, but there was certainly no doubt in my mind. Megaton would burn. I wanted to hang a banner saying 'Blame Nova' but I couldn't find any ink. 

Oh well, time to go meet Burke and make my mark on this wasteland. Or at least take one off.

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Let's Play: Fallout 3 (Part 1)

Fallout 3 is one of those games where I start playing at 1pm when I have a bit of free time and close the game next Wednesday. I know it has some pretty big flaws, like a terrible story, glitches and characters who are just clones of everyone else in the wasteland, but there's something about it which hooks me. I try not to focus on the story too often and revel in the exploration, spending hours walking from one side of the map to the other, just to see a place I've not been to yet.
It's for this reason I've chosen to start a Let's Play with this game, something I've toyed with in the past but never came to fruition.

There are quite a few mods I've installed with the game, but for the purposes of this playthrough, I've turned off all but Fellout, Burnification, and Amplified Cripple Effects. The first two to help give better screenshots, and the last because I like having to crawl away when both my legs are broken. As far as mods go, these few are pretty stable, but should they cause a problem and need removing I'll let you know.

I own all the DLC so if there's an enemy or weapon I mention which you've not seen, that may be why. As for which DLC I'm going to go through, if any, I've not decided yet. It all depends on how much material the game itself is providing me with.

With all that out of the way, Let's Play Fallout 3.

Fallout 3 starts you off in a unique way, in that you're literally pushed into the world via birth. As a child you're asked to name your character, as well as give yourself a gender and appearance. I think this is asking a little too much, but I strive on and birth Zak Stoneball into the world. He fashions a bright blue mohawk, and equally amusing facial hair.

If your hair isn't colourful and wacky, you're not doing the apocalypse right.

Before Zak can tell his dad any other personal details any father should already know, his mother starts to feel a bit unwell and you're rushed off into the back before you watch your mother die. No, you don't get XP for this.

This starts the tutorial where you go through the key events in your life in excruciating detail.

First on the agenda, learning to walk. At the age of one I walk to dear old daddy, who doesn't seem the least bit interested in Zak's ability to jump up and down, but I guess he's a man of priorities. Showing a very negligent attitude towards parenting he then forgets to lock Zak's playpen as he leaves the room. This gives you the chance to go and get up to all sorts of nefarious deeds like OH DAMMIT! The door's locked. I guess he's smarter than we think. Ah well, let's take the time to sort out our stats. With a name like Stoneball I want to be able to crush men with my fists, so that's Strength getting priority. Plus carrying extra weight is always a plus.

I really wanted to put all the points into Strength.

Nothing else important happens in this tutorial except for some slight character development, so I'll skip forward to the GOAT exam. Sadly this is more about questions to develop your stats and less about farmyard animals. The way to the exam room is littered with loot (doctor's tools) which tease me by dissapearing from my inventory after the next life event. You'd think I'd be able to keep it all in a drawer for when I leave the vault in three years time. Actually, at the rate this tutorial is going that three years may as well be realtime instead of in-game. Anyway, GOAT.


Zak wakes up three years later to find his dad has left the vault. Needing to escape (I don't know why, since you're not the one who broke out) I pick up the weapons on my table and take a pistol Zak's childhood friend, Amata, gives me. Promising to use it only as a last resort while simultaneously checking how much ammo I have, I get ready to kill some guards and escape this horribly lit place.

The first of many guards who inexplicably die while I'm in the vicinity.
Butch, the school bully, comes up to me asking me to save his mother. This is the same Butch who punched me because I wouldn't give him my birthday present nine years prior. After I stop laughing, I say I'll help. This is only because I want his jacket.

Sadly there was no option to tell him to eat a dick.
After 'accidently' missing 5 times his mum falls to the ground in what I presume to be thanks. I take her clothes as a reward.

The bat slipped.  Multiple times.  It was the Radroach's fault!
I go to tell Butch the good news, that I cleared the infestation, but he turns angry. Ungrateful. I steal his jacket as payment. From his corpse. After I beat him.

I don't like it. Well...this was worth it? Good thing I never liked the guy or I'd feel guilty.
Nothing much really happens until I get to the Overseer's office. Amata begs me not to kill him, but before she's ran away and he's finished calling for guards he hits the floor dead. I hope Amata will believe that I just mis-heard her. This gives me the password I use to open up an exit in the overseer's office. How did dad do this before? He managed to get out, and then put the key and note with the password back in the places he found them just in case his son wanted to come with? Well anyway I manage to kill a few more guards, get to the entrance of the vault, and step outside to breath in the first non-tutorial air of the game.
Ah, freedom.


So...what now?
Next time: Time to go to Megaton to sell all the stuff those dead guys dropped.

Monday, 9 August 2010

The internet doesn't have enough 'cat' blog posts.

For those of you that don't know, I own one of those new fangled computer thingies.  I usually use it to search for porno and pictures of dinosaurs.  (The two are not related).  Because doing this was all too tiring on my legs, I purchased one of those 'chair' inventions which worked wonders.  This allowed me to use my computer for long periods of time while sat down.  I also own a cat, who seems to think she owns the chair.  Now, if anyone else was to sit on my chair I'd slap them and start phoning a lawyer.  However, everytime I walk into my room to see a ball of fluff sat in the centre, I try to squeeze past so I can have enough space without disturbing the precious feline.  I'm writing this sitting on half a buttcheek while the cat is taking up the rest of the space asleep.  I'm quite uncomfortable.
Not content with ruining my dinosaur session, she also seems to think the best view in my room comes from the area in front of the monitor.  Now I wouldn't be angry, but she only ever manages to think this when I need the monitor for looking at things.  Pushing her off only tells her that I don't want her to sit there, which she translates to "Please sit on my mousemat.  You like mice, right?"  Chances are if I'm using my computer, the mouse would be a pretty handy tool as it helps to click on things. 
Again, she's moved and is sat on my mousemat, looking over my room like she owns the place.  I've never felt so imasculated.  I'm being overthrown in my own domain my a creature who can barely reach my knees.
Does this happen to everyone, or does my cat just really like the internet and want to join in?
I don't mean to one of 'those' people who always talks about their cat, so here's just the one post.  Be glad I didn't include pictures with hilarious captions in grammatically incorrect ways.  Tune in next time for a post about dogs!