My place really does suck

So I live in a little slice of heaven affectionately called 'The Moose'.  Reason?  Because it's the name of the place.  Duh.
Anyway, this house isn't well known for it's healthy drinking water.  One more than one occasion I've taken a glass, and had the water contained turned nearly opaque due to the 'things' in it.  The only way to get the water to an acceptable drinkable level, apart from moving, is to let the tap run for a few seconds prior to glass-filling.  Over Christmas holidays, a housemate left a bottle of water on the side, and returned 3 weeks later to a sight which can only be described as 'icky'  Mould balls had formed, and were bobbing up and down the bottle.  Sadly, he wouldn't drink it.  Even for science.

Why do I bring this up?

I was searching through a cupboard in my room back at home (The home with the people who gave birth to me) and found a bag I'd used for camping.  "Awesome" I said, as no-one was awake to tell me to stop talking to myself.  I need a tent for a week in June, so looked inside to see if I had one.  I realy can't remember what was in there.  The last time it was opened was about two years ago.  On the top of the bag, a bottle of water.  It had been in there for two years, and it was clear.  If I hadn't have just taken it out of this bag, I would consider drinking it.  (Again, for science) 

So a bottle of Moose water is left for two weeks, and grows mould.
A bottle of Liverpool water is left for two years in a bag in a small cupboard in a warm room, and it's fine.

Is my water really that bad?

Here he goes again

It's bad when you get writer's block.  It's worse to get it when you're not a writer, barely update a half decent blog, and should really have a lot more to talk about.  This is one of those 'worse' moments.  But, I'm bored and after reading some other websites, I'm inspired.  Either that or 'creeped-out'.  Note to self: Cleanse browser history.  With fire.

I've not got a topic handy, since when I go to ask people for something to talk about they always answer with the same thing:
"Where are your pants?  How the hell did you get in here?  I'm calling the police!"

Really, if you can't ask random strangers for advice in the comfort of their own home, our society is doomed. 

While I'm on the topic of destryoing society,  the internet has a new corner to annoy the rest of mankind.
Omegle.
My first experience was a stranger asking 'Cyber?'  Instant dislike alert.
Give it a go.  You may enjoy it, you may end up shutting off your PC in the hopes of never contacting another human being ever.

Funnily enough, this is what /b/ makes me feel like anyway.

Thoughts from the morning

- I should do this more often. It's like updating my Facebook, but I don't feel like a social whore by updating it every 2 minutes to tell people I just farted.

- I just farted.

- I'm regretting turning on that fan and pointing it in my general direction.

- I can't decide whether I want to spend £10+ on the GTAIV expansion. Does anyone want to give me the money for it?

- Why not? You got a problem with giving me money for nothing, arsehole?

- I should really play Sam & Max Hit The road again. It was such a great game, and I have the CD next to me, but it takes up both screens, and I cba to figure out how to change it to windowed mode, or if that's even possible.

- As of tonight, I've (nearly) completed two assignments. Suck it, time!

- I should really iron out the kinks in my code before declaring it as finished. Memory leaks are Satan spawn. But replacing variables to fit with a style guide is tedious as hell.

- I'd probably get more marks and have a better chance of passing the year if i didn't do this sort of thing at 6am, or stay on StumbleUpon until stupid O' clock.

- I should design a clock with stupid O' clock on it.

How to survive the zombie apocolype.

We all know it's going to happen. But will you survive? According to totally legit leading sources, which may or may not be movies and video games, no. Apparently only 1% of the human race know what to do in this situation. (According to the internet and how many blog posts are similar to this, it's more like 40%. Good going, internet!) After a good few hours on Left 4 Dead, and a childhood growing up with Resident Evil (sadly, including the films), I'm more than clued up on the facts. Gather round children, it's storytime.

Warriors > Everything.

People like swords. Why? Because you get to hit shit. In a zombie apocolypse, the same rule applies. After seeing your family, friends, or maybe even your favourite goldfish succumb to the wrath of the zombie hordes, it's a lot more satisfying to give the thing a wallop around the head than to stand a few feet away, aim, fire, and probably miss. Melee means no ammo. Melle means no jamming. Melee means punching a zombie in the face. For bonus points, try and get a still breathing friend to take a picture of said act. You can share it with your diminished friends list of Facebook once this has all blown over. If you think this may significantly lower your chances of survival then you may want an ordinary baseball bat or something sharp.

Dibs!

If you see something which may be useful, take it. All those years of adventure games will come in handy. You'll feel like you really were on your way to Monkey Island with all this stuff tucked away in your pants, waiting for the right opportunity to use it. Note: What you take is up to you. This guide cannot be held responsible for you chopping off your love-meat because you had the bright idea to put a knife next to your gonads for safe-keeping.
Go to B&Q or somewhere similar, and ransack the place. You'll be glad you took that lawnmower when you see the zombies gathering around the shop. Plus, that is another chance for an awesome photo.

Screw the carbon footprint.

For some reason, a few people tend to leave their cars along the side of the road when they realise the only bridge out of town has been blocked off. Be the smart one. If it still runs, drive it. You may not be heading out of town due to the aformentioned blockade, but it'll sure give you a ton of weight to mow down the undead with. If you're not old enough to drive, who cares. It's not like the law enforcement left will be bothered about the underage kid driving when there's a creature trying to chew his ear off. On the off chance there is, beat him and pretend you thought he was a zombie.
Also learn how to tap petrol from another car. Most petrol stations will be dried out, but there may still be some juice left in that scrapheap the mother and daughter died in. Don't worry about respect for the dead. They're not using it.

Home sweet hovel.

Stay away from cities. It may seem obvious, but there are a lot of people who'll stay to die where they were born. if you've read this far, hopefully you aren't one of them. Find a way out of town and to a quiet area. Contradictory, many others may have already thought of this, and are seeking refuge in the countryside. In this case, find a quiet part of town, left the undead army follow them, then forget everything I just said and take shelter here. If you want to make it more than a day, you'll need a place to sleep. Find a large building, stay a few floors up, and destroy the stairs. I'm certain you're not in a hurry to leave, so stock up beforehand. If there's someone in your group you think can be 'let go' if you still need food, let him/her runs down to the nearest shop, and devise a system of pulleys, where the food can be placed in a basket and brought up. Don't worry about the friend getting back up. No-one really liked them anyway, right? Watching them scream and jump, attracting 'friendly visitors', might give you something to laugh at in this bland wasteland. Which brings me to my next point:

Entertainment.

Ok, the section title was nothing special, but it fitted with the outing sentence of the previous paragraph. Go English language! With the rest of the world on standby, the internet might be a little boring. 4Chan might be a little repetative, with the zombies incapable of speech or human emotion spouting rubbish incomprehensable to the rest of society. Actually, nothing's really changed on that front. Sure, there may be a few small blogs cropping up telling people of their plights and where the nearest safehouse is, but between saving friends and looking at porn, I doubt many will have enough time to update regularly. Your best bet is to get out a good ol' board game, or if electricity isn't an issue, find a good game to play. Constantly. Though I'd stay away from FPS's. Many of them include some sort of zombie, and you really shouldn't bring your work home with you.

People.

Think of four people. The first four that crop into your head. Done? Good, because they should be the four you travel with. Hopefully you weren't thinking of supermodels, or that girl on the internet who you're pretty sure is a girl, and who really likes that picture of you from 4 years ago, before you got all those spots or got a tattoo on your face. Hopefully you thought of people you can trust, people who are good with weapons, and people you can tolerate for months on end. Stay small, since it's easier to travel. That car you took earlier would get pretty cramped with any more people following you. Stick with these people, and make no attempt to go searching for that partner or mother. Pretend they're dead, and follow the above rules. The second you leave to find your long lost love, you'll get bitten. Then you'll spend your last few minutes questioning whether or not she was really worth it, which kind of brings a downer to the whole relationship.

Hopefully this guide should be nothing you're unfamiliar with. If that's the case, I'll see you when we've found a way to make them our slaves. Hopefully, I'll have all those photos of zombie punching and videos of screaming friends uploaded by then.

This happens too often

I'm usually awake at 6am again, so I may as well have a place for all those strange thoughts to go again.  Just a sampler over the past few days:

- I joined Netlog for some strange reason.  Deleted my account about a year ago, but out of sheer boredom I crawled back.  Under the heading 'What do you want from netlog' or something similar, it had radio buttons with 'Friends', 'Relationships', or 'Networking'.  Now networking had two other sub-options, one of which I can't remember.  But the other one was called 'Job Search'.  Who the hell is searching for a job on freaking Netlog?!  Sign up (or just look around) to see what I mean. 

- Hats are awesome.  You disagree, and we have a problem.

- My 'friends' are idiots.  Not my actual friends.  Those people you add on Facebook because you have the same therapist or found out that they, too, share a fondness for bananas.  Every other word is 'lol', which is reason enough to hate them, and their comments are unreadable and uninteresting.  Maybe I should start deleting people.

- Finnish metal + Sub woofer in your chair + Lots of bass = Cheap massage chair!

I'm online again!

Today marked the day I bought a year's subscription to Xbox Live. If you've not added me already, do so.
Gamertag: Dizturbd666
I get bored easily.
Quick post as I have other things to do. Expect something insightful soon!

Picture time!

Thought I'd give this a go. Found it on DeviantArt while searching for Video games. As far as I know, the original poster was Kawaii-Chocobo. Feel free to correct me. Also have a look at the link and have a go yourself. Mine's a bad job, so I might do another soon. (Yes, I know i can't draw.) I also don't know what the last question meant. Fill in the blank with your imagination. Enjoy!

Sleep deprivation makes for good titles not

You may have noticed the new title format at the top of the page.
Pictures?! Not text?! Crazy, I know, but I like it, so it's staying. In other news, In return for not posting for a while I had a big post nearly done with ScribeFire. Then I reformatted my computer, losing the post. Typical.
So lets see if we can't salvage something from this obvious plea for attention and break from boredom. Recently, I completed the Xbox 360 gem that is Mass Effect. Since completion I've went back and am now on my 5th playthrough. Ruddy good game. The amount of customisation in the game is immense. A player with a lot of free time could easily spend hours in the player creation screen. I lost track of time and spent ages getting my first character's eye position just right. There are a multitude of different character classes to choose from, each giving you different skills and attributes. You even get to choose your history. And then there's the in-game decisions to make. In many cases, you literally decide who lives or dies. There's the usual 'Good or Evil' style you can find in so many games these days helping you keep track of how much of an arsehole you are. The achievements (If you're into that sort of thing.) require replaying the game a minimum of 4 times, each time varying the story greatly. Each achievement unlocks a certain upgrade, such as gaining 10% more EXP.
The story is centered around Commander Shepard, male or female depending on your choice during the player creation process. It follows the discovery of ruins on Mars, helping humanity to build faster than light travel. You start on your way to a planet called Eden Prime, where another of these ruins have been discovered, which you and your alien buddies hope to use for the good of the galaxy. sure enough, everything goes tits up, and it's up to you to kill everything in sight to save our beloved section of space. As with all RPG's, you're sent on many sidequests which could have easily been done by the sender, all in an effort to level up to go beat the bad guy. You could just as easily skip them out, since the enemies level with you, but that means missing out on backstory and sub-plots, something I'm a sucker for.
Mass Effect is highly recommended, as it's one of the best games I've played in a while.

Your friendly neighbourhood addict

So recently I got myself a month's free gold Xbox Live, which so far I've put to good use. Today has been one of those days where I want to do nothing but game. (Read: A normal day.) After finding out a clever trick to use my laptop as a wireless device, meaning I didn't have a LAN cable going from my dad's room to mine, (If I can remember the site, I'll post it later) I took out Grand Theft Auto IV and had a blast at that. Since it's all I've been playing for the past week, I decided to have a go at some of my other classics to see what their online capabilities were like. Condemned and Devil May Cry 4 both have no multiplayer, but I still found the single player modes killed the monotomy of my daily life. Next up was F.E.A.R. I couldn't get past a certain point in the story mode, so after looking it up online, and realising there was no actual trick and I was just being a really crap aim, I decided to put the game away. I've tried online multiplayer before, but I spent 5 minutes looking at the party screen while people came and went, so I don't think I'll be going back to that soon. Stranglehold is a game where I am so immensely bad, I can't get past the first level. I suppose I'll just have to get used to the fast-paced action of the game, but until then I'm staying well away from it. I feel like the game laughs at me. Viva Pinata hints at an online mode, but gives no details away. I had to scour through the manual, and even then it says 'at a certain level'. You'd think with the amount of online safety warnings the game gives there'd be a lot to do, but so far it just looks like you can trade items with people. I suppose I'll have to reach that mysterious level to find out. (I'm level 13 now by the way. Am I close?) Last but not least, there's Halo 3. I have Halo 2, which also has online capabilities, but a man can only have enough Halo in one day. Besides, Halo 2 sucked. Imagine my surprise when the first time I log on, plug in my headset and hear people talking, it's not a 'hyped up 14 year old kids debating whether or not my mother is a whore''s voice like I've been led to believe. It was a guy who sounded about my age, who did nothing but compliment people's kills. Every now and then there was someone else talking who did the same. I heard gasps of astonishment when someone exploded or someone managed a skillful kill (This was a place for beginner's by the way.) This enthusiasm in the human race didn't last long, as the next time I logged on, there was
aforementioned 14 year old constantly saying 'Veto' and saying how much this map sucked. When no-one but him veto'd, he didn't say much during the match. (Which, incidently, I won by default) I thought I'd take up another game, and ended up winning. Heaven forbid! This inflation of my ego will not help my addiction level of Xbox Live.
Tomorrow: I plan to get a life and step outside, weather permitting.

Damn laziness

Mike brought it to my attention that I hadn't uploaded my blog in a while. (See. Other people DO read this thing!) I've not played any new games in a while, so I haven't got a good review planned, so let's talk films.
I've just watched Diary Of The Dead. I'm still not sure whether I like it or not. One the one hand, a zombie's eyes explode. On the other, there aren't enough zombie mobs. The whole film is done in the style of a documentary, using all those skills I learnt in Media Studies which promote realism. Though if this film was real, the American army would be a bunch of cunts, the media would edit everything to prevent panics, and humans would be the real scourge of the planet. Wait, shit.
OK, different film. Iron Man. Now there's a film without even a hint of realism. Because if it was real, life would be a lot more awesome. Just because there's a man that flies with his shoes. Today's brands really need to pick up on the fact that we need more shoes with the ability to fly, coupled with the gloves to help us steer. Screw fancy colours and new designs, flying shoes are what the market needs! Anyway, back on track, Iron Man has to be one of the best superhero films of recent days. It's rare that the origin story is usually as good as this, as demonstrated by The Hulk, from what I can tell are re-making the first film since the first was a huge flop. But I could be wrong. Watch this space.
Next time, I'll probably have played a new game. Or I'll just talk about an old game, just to fulfill your nerdy needs.